In my dream.. :(

Last night, I had this dream. Me with family, a few of my siblings in this house. Tak cam whose house is that, tapi mcm kitorg punye rumah la. And ade Mak sekali.

And my sister, Acik told me this is the last chance we can see her. I macam.. er.. speechless that time. At that moment, Mak atas wheel chair dia. Acik quickly asked me to help her crossing one small road. Ntah kat mana. While crossing the road, I macam suddenly want to express my feeling why I didn't have the chance to see her for the last time on the day she passing. Mak macam dh weak that time. I terus sambar and hugged her tightly from the back and let all my feelings out. "Kenapa mak tak tunggu Adek? Adek dah masakkan Mak? Mak tak sayang Adek? Adek rindu Mak." With burst of tears. She just looked at me sadly. Until now I terbayang Mak's face. Yeah, she didnt speak even a word. Oh my..

And suddenly I woke up. :( I didnt cry. But sebak nya Tuhan saja yang tahu.

Mak, Adek rindu nya kat Mak. Thank God coz giving me the chance to meet Mak even tho it was only in my dream.

Al-fatihah to Mak. May she rest in peace.

5.44 hohoho..

Yes. I woke up at 5.44am today. Cik Farissa kejut coz she demanded for milk. But formula milk. :( Now she refused to BF plak. But will drink my bottled EBM. Selagi ade, akan ku pam jugak..

Pumped my milk while watching Dalam Hati Ada Cinta again and again. Tatau nk layan apa. Yang ade citer Lost. Cam terlampau heavy pagi-pagi. Tot of reaching office at 7.30 tapi nan ado. Siap breakfast bagai sorang diri. Mr hubs anak beranak terbongkang tidur lagi. I ate toast cicah mushroom soup ye.. :D

Sent Farissa to babysitter and off to work. I reached office at 8.20am. Byk plak keta pagi2. Tensi! Tu la pasal I malas nk pergi kerja pagi2. Alasan.

Ok, peeps nk buat kerja nie. Dah rase ngantuk hoih.. Ni dh masuk cup ke dua nescafe... -_-

Rosniza Express

I am on EL today. Farissa was a bit cranky last night. Biasa la colic. As a result, I am restless throughout the night. So, pagi tak boleh bukak mata. I think I texted my TL with my eyes 20% opened. Teruk. BUT, we (me and Farissa) woke up early coz si kecik nie, if Papa dia pergi kerja je, her eyes will automatically opened. Jgn harap la nk sambung tidur.

And just now, I cooked say 5 minutes? :P Turun je downstairs, cepat2 jerang nasi and air and prepare for her bath basin all. Mandikan dia and buat susu. After kenyang, put her in the bouncer and i quickly prepare my lunch. Lapar gila coz she BF-ed me since last night kan. I tumbuk cili with a bit salt. Takleh makan kalau takde pedas. Fried my telur mata kerbau, and quickly wash spinach. I fried the spinach without oil. Just put some ikan bilis and campak je spinach in it. Pour some water. I didnt put salt coz ikan bilis tu dah masin. Lengkap dh segala zat, Carbs, protein, vits and iron from the spinach. :)

Taraaa.. siap. Buh kicap sikit bagi sedap.

I ate the nasi super quick sebab Farissa dh start berbunyik time nie..huhuhu...

It has been one month since you left us..

Hari nie genap sebulan Mak tinggalkan kami semua. Ke alam yang kekal dan tak akan kembali lagi. Serasa cepat masa berlalu. Segala kenangan, memori, saat memandikan jenazah mak, melihat mak disemadikan seakan berputar kembali di fikiran. Seakan tak percaya mak yang saya sayangi sudah meninggalkan kami buat selamanya.

Saat mak disemadikan..

Saat talkin dibacakan..

'Rumah' mak yang baru.. Rehat lah Mak..

Kubur arwah Abah yang berhampiran. Jaga Mak baik2 ye Abah.. :(

How was my weekend?

Started on Friday, 2nd half of my office hours, my team and I went out for team outing. Lunch at Pizza Hut and we watched Toy Story 3 with our brand new TL. :)

Imagine a group of grown-ups watched TS3 surrounded by lots of kids and the movie was full house. Cuti skolah kan? TS3 was fun. :)

My Saturday started early coz I was awake at 8am. :) Bravo! Managed to cook tomyam ayam+udang, ikan goreng and jantung pisang celur cicah air asam. The tomyam turned out not so good tho. Maybe tak cukup bahan. Alasan. :P

Saturday evening, we went to Pyramid to get me a ....


Thanks a lot to dearest mr hubs (dan dan dearest.. :P) for this treat. It's a Samsung netbook with a same brand DVD writer as the free gift. We bought it at Harvey Norman. Dah lama teringin, tapi me so kedekut nk kluar duit nk beli gadget2 nie. Tot of getting Viao, but with the price all, macam tak worth. Takde free gift sum more.

Malamnya we went to Angah's place in Shah Alam. Saja datang2. Oh, it's my nephew's (we called him Pap) birthday. Tapi si kecik Faruq and Feeya duk sibuk nk blow candle gak.


Farissa was well-behaved last night. Tidur manjang. Orang kacau2 dia pun tak gerak you. Below is her pic with Mimi and Feeya.

And finally Sunday came by, because of we went back to our place very late last night, woke up at 12+pm semua orang. Hoih.

Petang, we went to IJN to visit my other bro, Ateh. Suspected with cardiac arrest, due to prolong asthma. He looked okay, and borak out loud as usual. We visited my Muksu (my arwah mak SIL) too in CCU. Pity her and Puksu. Ye lah dah tua. Ade je kan penyakit. May Ateh and Muksu will recover soon.

That's all for my weekend. Penat jangan cakap lah. Rase mcm tak cukup cuti.. Hmm..

Back to office..

Yup, I'm at the office now. Konon nk bgn awal, kul 8 gak bgn. Terkocoh2 mandikan si Farissa. Nasib baik dua2 ok je. Tak mengaruk. Mr hubs yang hantar diorg gi rumah bbsitter tu.

First half at the office macam bosan gak. Glance tru tonnes of unread emails. Malasnya. Perut dh nyanyi2 nie. Am contemplating nk pump susu bwh meja ke nk pergi nursing room downstairs. Malasnya nk jalan.

The best part, ramai kata I dh kurus! Lps deliver ari tu lagi kurus, diorg tak jumpa kan? La ni dh makan macam buaya. Blame to BF! Huhu..

Later ya. Nak lunch sat lagi.

Dah 3 weeks.. terkenang semasa dulu..

Masuk hari nie genap 3 weeks mak dh takde. And as usual every Tuesday after Mak left us, I mesti terbangun at 4am lepas tu takleh tidur. My plan today nak pergi kerja. But coz lots of tasks done yesterday makes me exhausted, plus my two babies are unwell too.

Si Faruq dari tadi takmo makan, minum susu jek. The result, baru tadi muntah berlambak2. Hadoi.. Dia macam nk pitam dah. Ye la org tak makan. Si Farissa as usual melalak. But still controllable lah. Biasalah jaga anak kan? Macam mana lah arwah Mak dulu jaga kami semua? Dah la I twin.. pengsan... and my 7 elder siblings. Yang tu macam berderet setahun satu. Mak aih.. Campur bela adik2 and sedara mara lagi. Dulu2 mana ade diapers bagai. Pakai kain lampin. Agaknya kalau sekarang still takde diapers, mau meroyan I.

Mak kira yang paling tua dalam family. Yang paling tua among cousins jugak. Everybody called her Kak Long. Mak yang jaga adik2 lelaki dia smpai la diorg kahwin, sepupu2 mak jugak. Time dulu ramai yang susah. So diorg menumpang dgn Mak lah.

Mak dgn Abah mmg cekal. Dulu Abah je sorang kerja. Jadik cikgu. Mana nk cukup gaji. Baju sekolah my elder siblings, Abah yang jahitkan. Uniform ok. Kagum dgn diorg. Mak pulak tak jemu2 tolong Abah. Apa je yang boleh dijual, dia akan jual. Mak jahit telekung, cadar (Ingat tak dulu ade cadar yang sulam tu? Sulaman tu Abah yang tolong jahitkan.). Kalau pergi pasar, ade udang geragau, Abah akan beli, buat belacan then jual. Mak jugak jual penyapu lidi dgn tikar mengkuang. Yang nie pergi ambik kt orang yang buat. Diorg mmg tak pernah duduk diam.

Eventho dah senang sket, (masa nie dh pindah kt my current house kt Muar, dulu2 duk rumah murah kt bandar), ade je kerja diorg. Time nie Abah dh pencen. Kami the twin sista plak lahir. Imagine, dua2 in breech position. Mak pulak tak perasan pregnant, time tu dia dh 44years old. Masa preggie kami 4months, baru pergi check, coz Mak ingat dia terkena busung. Dulu pun mana nak ade scan2. So ingat preggie satu je la. After check-up tgk2, Mak kena pregnancy diabetic pulak. So when she pregnant-ed us at 8months, Mak dh kena tahan ward. Kena duk sebulan lebih before lahirkan kami. Masa nk lahir songsang pulak. My twin sis, Ata keluar dulu, at 2+kg camtu. Then me, yang paling susah coz I dlm kedudukan melengkung. Muka sentuh lutut. The gynae terpaksa pull out my legs. I only weighted 3.5pounds je..dlm 1.5kg?

My sis, Ucu cerita, time kluar my legs, hands sumer still lembut, so my kaki melengkung. Doctor advised her to put wooden long ruler ikat kt kaki I bagi straight. It's not all. Sebab I terlalu ringan kena stay kt hospital almost one month jugak, while Ata, my auntie dh bawak balik coz she was healthy time tu. So Mak pun stayed kt hospital teman I. Kecik2 lagi dh susah kan dia. :(

Bukan tu je. Both of us kena childhood ashtma pulak, me with my fussy eater attitude (Sekarang Faruq inherits my attitude, ish!) Macam2 la yg my parents kena faced masa I kecik but they willingly to do it. Not like me, asyik nk merungut itu ini.

Byk lagi kenangan yang nk share dgn korang semua. Bukan apa, I takut nanti I lupa all the memories with my family. So, I let it written here. Bila2 boleh baca balik. Later ya. I blum mandi pagi. Boleh?