Blog template

Sekarang macam musim orang tukar blog template. Kalau ikutkan, I ade hati nk buat sendiri from scratch..tp mana nak ade masa kan?

So I just view other blogger's blog template yang cantik2. Suka tgk. Especially my fren Wana. Dari her sis nya cupcake blog, dgn her craft shop blog. Sumer buat sendiri template. Rajin nk nyusun gambar2 cute buat header. Thanks Wana sbb buatkan template kita. Leh buat biz kan? :P

MC

Ini hari cuti MC. Since last night, badan rase tak sedap, kepala dizzy. Tak cukup rest+tido+tension. I slept at 10+pm last night. Pagi nie bangun, bdn bertambah sakit, but I mandi jugak. Nak pergi keje, coz keje byk. Mr hubs asked me to take leave aje, last nite pun duk asik tanye, "Awk ok ke tak?" Berpuluh kali.

So, I pun cuti but texted my TL, to tell him I want to do my work from home. Sent Farissa to bbsitter. Dalam sakit badan tu, I mandikan jugak dia. Sian plak nk hantar dia, but I hantar jugak. Sampai rumah, the bbsitter texted me tanya pacifier Farissa kt mana. Ah sudah!. So pergi balik hantar pacifier. Dua kali kerja.

I trus install VPN etc etc. Dah takleh copy paste plak. Setelah several attempts, tukar server and whatnot, baru berjaya. Ni mata plak dh berpinar.

Tgh2 sakit kepala nie, I teringat my Mak. Kalau dia ade, pantang I sakit sikit, dia menggelabah. Kalau ckp pening sikit, cepat2 cari panadol or minyak kapak utk I. Tgk i tak selera makan, dia paling risau. Kalau demam ke apa..lagi la dia gelabah. Sayang betul kat anak dia :(

Sabtu nie genap 40days Mak takde. Terus syahdu+malas nk buat kerja mode. Mak, Adek rindu kat Mak. T_T

Bzzzzzzzzzz...~

Adalah sangat bz, tapi sibuk nk update blog jugak... Heheheh...

My workload dah start melimpah ruah like before maternity leave. Dol betul! Ni baru curi2 nk surfing/baca blog orang/update blog. FB tak sempat nk bukak lagi. Sangat dol!

Oh just glance tru Aussie cases yang I tgh convert (buat2 paham ye..). Siap ade contents email that considered as proof to the case. Agak2 kat Malaysia laku tak chat log? :P Tiba2.

Tiba2 sangat benci weekends sebab:-

• Tu je time nk bangun lambat
• Time nk rehat kt rumah
• Time nk gathering dgn family / visit MIL
• Time nk shopping
• Time nk masak best2 sket
• Time nk basuh baju
• Time nk jaga anak2
• Time nk potong kuku Faruq/Farissa

The list goes on and on. -_-

Segala mak nenek menda nk buat but only 48hours! Imagine kalau keje Saturday pulak.. or odd shift hours.. Haish.. Jgn tak percaya, every tasks/plan nk pergi mana and whatnot dh diplan utk 2 weekends ahead nie..Hadoi mak. Dah terasa kepenatannya!

Sure you guys serabut baca nie.. hahaha..tgh serabut tp sebok nk update blog! Bengong!

Wajah-wajah Farissa Risyqa

1st day

One month

2 months


Reaching 3 months!! Dah pandai ketawa, and asyik nk borak..

Alhamdulillah.. murah rezeki..

Dari company

Dari kawan2 di company

Oh nie bukan direct selling ye or jual MLM tunjuk2 duit berkepuk tu.. :)

Ni duit khairat kematian Mak saya. Memang murah rezeki Mak. Last week, TL dah bagi dari company. Tak sangka hari nie dapat lagi dari kawan2 kt company pulak. Terharu saya.

Duit tu cukup untuk kenduri Mak yang ke 4o hari. Sekejap je rase.

Bukan nie saja. Since first day she passed away, rezeki Mak bertambah2. Duit khairat dari orang2 kampung, family dengan kawan2 Mak cukup untuk menampung smpai kenduri yg ke 100hari. Inilah berkat, Mak selalu tolong orang2 kampung. Orang kenang jasa Mak.

Kalau Mak masih ade, mesti Mak gembira. Al-fatihah untuk Mak.

De-stress myself.. [II]

Opss citer tergantung.. ekekek.. I also bought long cardi from WMC too.. yang nie later2 la tunjuk gambar.. Not even two..it's THREE pieces okay.. And it was cheap!! Kalau nk compare pergi shopping complex and beli.. I prefer carik yg bargain2 plus the reasonable postage fee as well.

Online shopping is the way to de-stress myself. Konon la.. Kalau tak, I will browse tru few blogs yang jual baju.. and make my own comparison. Bukan semua pun beli.. Macam window shopping la.. but this is called screen shopping. Rite?

That's my way to de-stress myself. Dari tgk porno or buat porno video.. ekekek.. elok lagi tgk2 baju.. Betul tak?

De-stress myself..

Just came back from my lunch. Had a forgot-the-name salmon spagetti. Sedap giler but it costed me RM16 plus the lime crush juice. Expensive kan? Cyberjaya memang.

Then, me, Wana and Fiza had a nice strolling around the flea market. Takde la nice sgt pun, coz all the stuffs sama jek. Tak berubah since I dah cuti lama kan. Siap mintak extra RM50 from mr hubs. Kot2 nk shopping apa2... tapi tak beli apa2 pun.. Huhuh..satu kemajuan..

BUT, today two parcels arrived for me.. yeay!! One parcel tu BF shirts. 2 pieces okeh.. but it's a good bargain. *Sedapkan hati* Ya lah.. Both I bought at RM55 only plus poslaju. Murah la kan?Oh I bought it from Zaibutik from WMC forum. Tq Zai..

Pinjam gambar dia..ala baju biasa2 jek..


Tgk tu..normal price pun mahal..ehehhe.. Oh ya WMC nk buat Sale kat Dataran Penjaja, Bkt Jalil weekends nie.. Jom la you all... From 10am to 10pm kot.. Sure bargain giler2.. Jom Jom..

In my dream.. :(

Last night, I had this dream. Me with family, a few of my siblings in this house. Tak cam whose house is that, tapi mcm kitorg punye rumah la. And ade Mak sekali.

And my sister, Acik told me this is the last chance we can see her. I macam.. er.. speechless that time. At that moment, Mak atas wheel chair dia. Acik quickly asked me to help her crossing one small road. Ntah kat mana. While crossing the road, I macam suddenly want to express my feeling why I didn't have the chance to see her for the last time on the day she passing. Mak macam dh weak that time. I terus sambar and hugged her tightly from the back and let all my feelings out. "Kenapa mak tak tunggu Adek? Adek dah masakkan Mak? Mak tak sayang Adek? Adek rindu Mak." With burst of tears. She just looked at me sadly. Until now I terbayang Mak's face. Yeah, she didnt speak even a word. Oh my..

And suddenly I woke up. :( I didnt cry. But sebak nya Tuhan saja yang tahu.

Mak, Adek rindu nya kat Mak. Thank God coz giving me the chance to meet Mak even tho it was only in my dream.

Al-fatihah to Mak. May she rest in peace.

5.44 hohoho..

Yes. I woke up at 5.44am today. Cik Farissa kejut coz she demanded for milk. But formula milk. :( Now she refused to BF plak. But will drink my bottled EBM. Selagi ade, akan ku pam jugak..

Pumped my milk while watching Dalam Hati Ada Cinta again and again. Tatau nk layan apa. Yang ade citer Lost. Cam terlampau heavy pagi-pagi. Tot of reaching office at 7.30 tapi nan ado. Siap breakfast bagai sorang diri. Mr hubs anak beranak terbongkang tidur lagi. I ate toast cicah mushroom soup ye.. :D

Sent Farissa to babysitter and off to work. I reached office at 8.20am. Byk plak keta pagi2. Tensi! Tu la pasal I malas nk pergi kerja pagi2. Alasan.

Ok, peeps nk buat kerja nie. Dah rase ngantuk hoih.. Ni dh masuk cup ke dua nescafe... -_-

Rosniza Express

I am on EL today. Farissa was a bit cranky last night. Biasa la colic. As a result, I am restless throughout the night. So, pagi tak boleh bukak mata. I think I texted my TL with my eyes 20% opened. Teruk. BUT, we (me and Farissa) woke up early coz si kecik nie, if Papa dia pergi kerja je, her eyes will automatically opened. Jgn harap la nk sambung tidur.

And just now, I cooked say 5 minutes? :P Turun je downstairs, cepat2 jerang nasi and air and prepare for her bath basin all. Mandikan dia and buat susu. After kenyang, put her in the bouncer and i quickly prepare my lunch. Lapar gila coz she BF-ed me since last night kan. I tumbuk cili with a bit salt. Takleh makan kalau takde pedas. Fried my telur mata kerbau, and quickly wash spinach. I fried the spinach without oil. Just put some ikan bilis and campak je spinach in it. Pour some water. I didnt put salt coz ikan bilis tu dah masin. Lengkap dh segala zat, Carbs, protein, vits and iron from the spinach. :)

Taraaa.. siap. Buh kicap sikit bagi sedap.

I ate the nasi super quick sebab Farissa dh start berbunyik time nie..huhuhu...

It has been one month since you left us..

Hari nie genap sebulan Mak tinggalkan kami semua. Ke alam yang kekal dan tak akan kembali lagi. Serasa cepat masa berlalu. Segala kenangan, memori, saat memandikan jenazah mak, melihat mak disemadikan seakan berputar kembali di fikiran. Seakan tak percaya mak yang saya sayangi sudah meninggalkan kami buat selamanya.

Saat mak disemadikan..

Saat talkin dibacakan..

'Rumah' mak yang baru.. Rehat lah Mak..

Kubur arwah Abah yang berhampiran. Jaga Mak baik2 ye Abah.. :(

How was my weekend?

Started on Friday, 2nd half of my office hours, my team and I went out for team outing. Lunch at Pizza Hut and we watched Toy Story 3 with our brand new TL. :)

Imagine a group of grown-ups watched TS3 surrounded by lots of kids and the movie was full house. Cuti skolah kan? TS3 was fun. :)

My Saturday started early coz I was awake at 8am. :) Bravo! Managed to cook tomyam ayam+udang, ikan goreng and jantung pisang celur cicah air asam. The tomyam turned out not so good tho. Maybe tak cukup bahan. Alasan. :P

Saturday evening, we went to Pyramid to get me a ....


Thanks a lot to dearest mr hubs (dan dan dearest.. :P) for this treat. It's a Samsung netbook with a same brand DVD writer as the free gift. We bought it at Harvey Norman. Dah lama teringin, tapi me so kedekut nk kluar duit nk beli gadget2 nie. Tot of getting Viao, but with the price all, macam tak worth. Takde free gift sum more.

Malamnya we went to Angah's place in Shah Alam. Saja datang2. Oh, it's my nephew's (we called him Pap) birthday. Tapi si kecik Faruq and Feeya duk sibuk nk blow candle gak.


Farissa was well-behaved last night. Tidur manjang. Orang kacau2 dia pun tak gerak you. Below is her pic with Mimi and Feeya.

And finally Sunday came by, because of we went back to our place very late last night, woke up at 12+pm semua orang. Hoih.

Petang, we went to IJN to visit my other bro, Ateh. Suspected with cardiac arrest, due to prolong asthma. He looked okay, and borak out loud as usual. We visited my Muksu (my arwah mak SIL) too in CCU. Pity her and Puksu. Ye lah dah tua. Ade je kan penyakit. May Ateh and Muksu will recover soon.

That's all for my weekend. Penat jangan cakap lah. Rase mcm tak cukup cuti.. Hmm..

Back to office..

Yup, I'm at the office now. Konon nk bgn awal, kul 8 gak bgn. Terkocoh2 mandikan si Farissa. Nasib baik dua2 ok je. Tak mengaruk. Mr hubs yang hantar diorg gi rumah bbsitter tu.

First half at the office macam bosan gak. Glance tru tonnes of unread emails. Malasnya. Perut dh nyanyi2 nie. Am contemplating nk pump susu bwh meja ke nk pergi nursing room downstairs. Malasnya nk jalan.

The best part, ramai kata I dh kurus! Lps deliver ari tu lagi kurus, diorg tak jumpa kan? La ni dh makan macam buaya. Blame to BF! Huhu..

Later ya. Nak lunch sat lagi.

Dah 3 weeks.. terkenang semasa dulu..

Masuk hari nie genap 3 weeks mak dh takde. And as usual every Tuesday after Mak left us, I mesti terbangun at 4am lepas tu takleh tidur. My plan today nak pergi kerja. But coz lots of tasks done yesterday makes me exhausted, plus my two babies are unwell too.

Si Faruq dari tadi takmo makan, minum susu jek. The result, baru tadi muntah berlambak2. Hadoi.. Dia macam nk pitam dah. Ye la org tak makan. Si Farissa as usual melalak. But still controllable lah. Biasalah jaga anak kan? Macam mana lah arwah Mak dulu jaga kami semua? Dah la I twin.. pengsan... and my 7 elder siblings. Yang tu macam berderet setahun satu. Mak aih.. Campur bela adik2 and sedara mara lagi. Dulu2 mana ade diapers bagai. Pakai kain lampin. Agaknya kalau sekarang still takde diapers, mau meroyan I.

Mak kira yang paling tua dalam family. Yang paling tua among cousins jugak. Everybody called her Kak Long. Mak yang jaga adik2 lelaki dia smpai la diorg kahwin, sepupu2 mak jugak. Time dulu ramai yang susah. So diorg menumpang dgn Mak lah.

Mak dgn Abah mmg cekal. Dulu Abah je sorang kerja. Jadik cikgu. Mana nk cukup gaji. Baju sekolah my elder siblings, Abah yang jahitkan. Uniform ok. Kagum dgn diorg. Mak pulak tak jemu2 tolong Abah. Apa je yang boleh dijual, dia akan jual. Mak jahit telekung, cadar (Ingat tak dulu ade cadar yang sulam tu? Sulaman tu Abah yang tolong jahitkan.). Kalau pergi pasar, ade udang geragau, Abah akan beli, buat belacan then jual. Mak jugak jual penyapu lidi dgn tikar mengkuang. Yang nie pergi ambik kt orang yang buat. Diorg mmg tak pernah duduk diam.

Eventho dah senang sket, (masa nie dh pindah kt my current house kt Muar, dulu2 duk rumah murah kt bandar), ade je kerja diorg. Time nie Abah dh pencen. Kami the twin sista plak lahir. Imagine, dua2 in breech position. Mak pulak tak perasan pregnant, time tu dia dh 44years old. Masa preggie kami 4months, baru pergi check, coz Mak ingat dia terkena busung. Dulu pun mana nak ade scan2. So ingat preggie satu je la. After check-up tgk2, Mak kena pregnancy diabetic pulak. So when she pregnant-ed us at 8months, Mak dh kena tahan ward. Kena duk sebulan lebih before lahirkan kami. Masa nk lahir songsang pulak. My twin sis, Ata keluar dulu, at 2+kg camtu. Then me, yang paling susah coz I dlm kedudukan melengkung. Muka sentuh lutut. The gynae terpaksa pull out my legs. I only weighted 3.5pounds je..dlm 1.5kg?

My sis, Ucu cerita, time kluar my legs, hands sumer still lembut, so my kaki melengkung. Doctor advised her to put wooden long ruler ikat kt kaki I bagi straight. It's not all. Sebab I terlalu ringan kena stay kt hospital almost one month jugak, while Ata, my auntie dh bawak balik coz she was healthy time tu. So Mak pun stayed kt hospital teman I. Kecik2 lagi dh susah kan dia. :(

Bukan tu je. Both of us kena childhood ashtma pulak, me with my fussy eater attitude (Sekarang Faruq inherits my attitude, ish!) Macam2 la yg my parents kena faced masa I kecik but they willingly to do it. Not like me, asyik nk merungut itu ini.

Byk lagi kenangan yang nk share dgn korang semua. Bukan apa, I takut nanti I lupa all the memories with my family. So, I let it written here. Bila2 boleh baca balik. Later ya. I blum mandi pagi. Boleh?

Miserably miserable..

Just now, I burst into tears..:( Farissa couldn't stop crying like no tomorrow. Yang pelik, she will stop crying if I sit nearer to her. Gosh. Mcm mama tade kerja lain. I have to dukung her all the time. Dah la, I suddenly feel down when I remember the fact that I have nobody (in terms of parents) and how I miss Mak badly. The tears came down heavily bila teringat Mak dah takde for me to refer anything about baby. Memang when she was still alive, she couldn't help me physically, but she helped a lot mentally. She gave me the strength to face 1001 problems when handling Faruq dulu.

This is my first time I menangis gila-gila punya sejak Mak takde. Siap teresak2. I just couldn't help myself to cry. At least I feel a bit relief. I can't stay alone. Last week ok skit, when I stayed at UB. Ria, the maid really helped a lot. Farissa nangis2 pun dia blh senyum lagi. BUT, I know everybody pun stress and sad bila Mak takde. I need to go back home to face reality.

While I was still on my confinement period, masa Mak visited me, serta-merta I rasa segar sikit and confident. That was the power and love of mother. I can feel my burden just flewn away that time. God knows how much I miss her and wanting her right now.

Poor Farissa jugak. She is helpless. Sakit ke, uncomfy ke, she only knows how to cry. She dunno how to minta anything. I think dia kembung kot. Ntah la. Oh I so not ready to get back to work. Fiza, can you tell my tl? I don't want the world to see how miserable I was right now. My face full of pimples and breakouts due to stress I guess. I couldn't stop myself eating but usually the food will end up in the toilet. (I threw it up). Or else, I can put up one day without food and drink. That was so not good coz I am BF-ing Farissa. My hair.. toksah cakap la..buruk gila. Hmpph..

Last night lagi la. I tot of going to Papparich with mr hubs for dinner. Of course with Farissa along. She was ok during the day yesterday. Dalam kereta je, dia dh macam ulat. Tak senang duduk. Mata melilau tgk lampu. Tertoleh2 sana sini. Taknak tidur langsung. When mr hubs stopped to fill the petrol, dia melalak dah. Papparich apa mcm nie? So the plan tukar last minute. Mr hubs tapau-ed food and drinks and we ate our dinner at home. Elok plak dia tak melalak time tu. Mr hubs pun satu. Kalau tak call, tak reti nk balik awal sikit. We had our dinner pun dh around 10-ish. Mana tak gemok!!

Today, I'm planning to go to IOI Mall to get her a new bottle. Tau tak, now she refused to drink FM from bottle. I have to give her Fm too, nanti nk kerja susah. And with stress lately nie, my BM is so little. Takleh nk buat stock pun coz she wants to BF every 1/2 hours. My nipple sore macam apa. Cemana nk tinggal dia kt bbsitter kalau dh takmo bottle. Lain la kalau I housewife ke. Boleh la kalau dia nk bergantung 24hours pun takpe. Tu baru betul susu cap gantung. Hish. At first I tot, dia tak sesuai susu. So tukar la Enfalac A+ tu. Mahal yg amat, pun dia taknak. Masa kt UB, try susu Akel (Dulac). Cheaper la sket. Minum mcm apa. So mr hubs beli la big tin of Dulac. Balik je rumah, hampeh. Macam nk bunuh dia jek bila feeding time. Suakan bottle, siap tolak dgn lidah then jerit2. Protes la tu. Kemain lagi kecik2 dh pandai show tantrum kt mama dia. Cara nak bagi dia bottle, kena BF her dulu, bila dia dh mamai baru sumbat bottle. Tu pun kadang2 je berjaya. She ended up crying sebab lapar and haus.
Pening pening.

(Sorry, lately nie byk sgt I complain about this and that. I just couldn't help. I love Farissa so much, but at the same time, I miss my Mak. I couldn't accept the fact that she's gone. FOREVER)

Mak, Adek nak Mak sekarang.

Kenangan terindah bersama Mak..

Semasa menghantar mak pergi umrah dgn Angah (2008)

Raya 2008 dgn anak2nya..

Raya 2008 dengan menantu


Mak dgn cucu2nya.

Di Seremban dgn Mak (birthday my nephew, Nizam)

Di Seremban lagi

Hari Nikah my twin sis, Ata)

Home hot home..

Am already at my home, Puchong. The weather was really hot yesterday. Thanks to my twin sis, Ata. Sanggup hantar kami balik ke Puchong, dengan buaian si Farissa skali..

Actually buaian tu maktok (arwah mak) belikan untuk Faruq, tapi Faruq tak suka naik buaian, so I passed it to Ijot, utk Feeya. Bila Farissa dah ade nie, Ijot passed the cradle back to me. Si Farissa nie kuat nangis. Tatau la sawan ke apa. Last Monday, bawak dia pegi Darussyifa'. Ustaz tu kata, biasa la budak kecik, nampak semua benda. Takde apa2. He said while smiling. Rase tenang je tgk muka Ustaz tu.

Rasanya Farissa kepanasan kat rumah nie. Dia dh elok je kat Ukay Bistari. Kurang la nangis yang menggila2 tu. Balik je smlm, nangis la jugak. Hari nie pun ade la sikit2, tapi tak seteruk last week. :(

Am still risau pasal babysitter dia nie. Faruq's babysitter mmg agree nak jaga dia. But dgn dia yang kuat nangis nie, takut makcik tu takleh handle. She got 4 kids to take care of campur Farissa. But Faruq and one of the kid half day coz skolah. But the 1 year old boy tu takut meragam plak. U know, baby kan kena ade extra attention sikit. Makcik tu pulak sorang2 kat rumah. Takut lah.

Denial mode

Am in my mum's house at Ukay Bistari. I still can feel her here. Entering her room makes me feel closer to her. The smell, the room is still the same, except her bed was taken back by Tan Sri for his SIL. His SIL kena cancer just like Puan Sri. Takpe lah, at least the bed mmg berguna. Tak sempat nk belikan mak recliner bed. :(

Should I blame Faruq coz he was sick at the same time with Mak? I didn't have time to visit and take care of her.

Should I blame my husband coz after we got married, I didn't have much time to spend with Mak?

Should I blame myself, coz too pampered, so I didnt go to hospital the very last monday before Mak passed away?

Should I blame Ucu, coz she didn't call me at the very single minute before Mak left us? I didn't have the chance to seek her forgiveness and say goodbye. :(

Mak, Adek rindu Mak.