Rasa sedih..

Dunno why, I feed a bit sad for a few reasons...

1) Raya. I can't imagine raya without Mak & Abah. To be honest, I dun feel like celebrating hari Raya. Malas. I know it's not fair for mr hubs, but I'm not comfortable spending my Raya at his side. Eventho, we come from same state and district, the feels is totally different. Malas nk elaborate more, but I mmg tak selesa.

I just want to celebrate my Raya with visiting Mak and Abah's grave in the morning and push back to KL coz nothing left for me there. There's nothing can make me happy.

2) Nak Raya Mana dilemma. Seeshh.. I hate it! Eventho yeah, my house and mr hub's aunty's house is quite nearby (about 15mins drive), believe me, lagi susah! Lagi better sorang utara, sorang selatan kot. As for me, definitely I prefer to spend my Raya days in my own house. Selesa, got my own room, ade few toilets, kipas banyak tu yang paling penting. It is differs kat rumah Makngah (mr hubs's aunty). I bukan nk merungut. But a LOT of ppl with ony one ceiling fan and one toilet (toilet and bathroom attached together) are not a nice and comfy place to stay with babies. Sangat! Ke I yang mengada. I hate the feeling to be the eldest in family and prefer to be the youngest as I am. Paham tak? Hubs is the eldest dlm family, so I hate to pretend sooo behave and rajin giler nk menolong kat dapur. I love being myself ,where I takpayah pretend baik bebeno. Gitulah..

3)My Mak's maid, Ria dah nak balik kampung, and I dun think she wanna come back here. Susah nk cari maid yang sanggup nk mandikan, bersihkan Mak, sikatkan rambut Mak, siap sapukan lotion kat Mak, malam2 bangun urutkan kaki Mak, with all smiley face. Tak pernah merungut, eventho Mak slalu jugak marah2 dia. Memang she's not really a perfect maid. What do you want to expect, she's the youngest in her family, ade diploma in acc, speaks English well. Tak pernah buat kerja rumah b4 this, but managed to take care my Mak dgn baik and ikhlas.

I offer gak dia kerja dgn I if, she wanna come back here, but tatau la macam mana.. :(

I hope I can send her back kat airport nanti. Hmm..